| Posted by Jim , May 02,1999,12:48 | Post Reply | Forum |
I also include this because I couldn't convince one of us that the story floating around the net about people stealing kidneys and other organs is NOT TRUE!
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E-mail Facts of Life
Submitted by: Morgan from Just 4 Laughs 1. Big companies don't do business via chain letter. Bill Gates is not 2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a 3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they 4. We all know all 500 ways to drive your roommates crazy, irritate 5. Even if the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that 6. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever 7. If your CC: list is regularly longer than the actual content of your 8. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off the 9. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a 10. Craig Shergold in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at this The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the one, actually, where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty people you will have good luck but ten people will only have OK luck and if you send it to less than ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along without his lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation. And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages. Reprinted from Rodney and Kathy's Joke List (May 16, 1999).
giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. There is no
baby food company issuing class-action checks. You can relax; there is no need
to pass it on "just in case it's true". Furthermore, just because
someone said in the message, four generations back, that "we checked it out
and it's legit", does not actually make it true.
bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their
cousin. If you are hellbent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories, please
see: http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests
for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories.
None have." That's "none" as in "zero". Not even your friend's cousin.
do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at:
http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html Then, if you make the recipe, decide
the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on.
co-workers and creep out people on an elevator. We also know exactly how many
engineers, college students, Usenet posters and people from each and every
world ethnicity it takes to change a lightbulb
went
to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information
would reach the public via an AOL chain-letter?
forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm it at
an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with virii. Try:
http://www.norton.com . And even then, don't forward it. We don't
care.
message, you're probably going to Hell.
"HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care
enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser, since
you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe
anyway.
friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing
everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn't hurt
to get rid of all the ">" that begin each line. Besides, if it has gone around
that many times - I've probably already seen it.
time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He
apparently is also no longer a "little boy" either.
Followups
Re: Email Facts of Life -- Jim
Posted by Jim , May 17,1999,09:27
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Forum
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute Gates. (It's true -- I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disneyworld vacation, Nike sneakers and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)